When a man says “I Made A Mistake”, not every one reacts to his statement in the same way. Some of us understand that it takes a mature man to face his past and admit that not everything he did was right. Some of us may look at this man as one who attempts to provoke a contemptuous sorrow for his misery or distress- some one who looks for pity. There are also some who will see in such a statement a hidden political agenda. Ms. Sarah Blustain may be an epitome of the latter two category of people, which is eloquently displayed in her latest writing at The Nation:

Pity the Man: The antiabortion movement has found a new face to exploit for political gain. And it’s male.
By Sarah Blustain

Pity the man who conceived four babies with four women and suffered anxiety attacks and nightmares after all four, with his consent, were aborted. Pity the man who saw his soon-to-be-born baby on an ultrasound and instantly came to believe that he “had killed two of my own kids” through abortion. Pity the man who abused alcohol after his girlfriend aborted. Pity the man who suffered a nervous breakdown, depression, psychosis and nearly suicide after his girlfriend had an abortion despite his pleas…

Now we understand. Pity the man.

The four pages of somewhat angry criticism of pro-life movement by Ms. Blustain due to hit the stands this Monday on the pages of The Nation, but you can read her article online.

Evidently we both have attended the same conference in San Francisco- Reclaiming Fatherhood. However I tend to disagree with everything that Ms. Blustain had written in her latest article.

The men who took stand in front of few hundreds of people they have never seen in their lives, are truly courageous individuals who deserve admiration and respect but not pity. They told their stories without hype and exaggeration. They had the strength to acknowledge that abortion was their worst mistake. They had the wisdom to tell us that abortion was their ultimate delusion. They opened their hearts to show us that abortion was their biggest loss.

Every man who spoke in front of us reminded me of the Prodigal Son from the well known Jesus’ parable. In that parable, the Prodigal Son who found the courage to admit his mistake is not a hero. The true hero of that parable is the loving and forgiving Father.

Although these men took the stage and one by one acknowledged their mistakes, they themselves will tell you that they are not the heroes. They will tell you that the true hero in their story is the loving and forgiving God.

Those who would like to put a political spin on the issue are probably would love this to be just that a “political issue”. But it is not. The pain of abortion is not an illusion. It is real. The effect that abortion has on people’s lives is not imaginary, it is also real and often devastating. And men are not immune to neither.

I have already posted once in the past the video by Flipside. I think it is fitting to include it in this post as well. His song is the song of millions of men around the world.

I have been writing in the past about the conference I have attended in San Francisco. The conference addressed one particular side of abortion that until now has not been widely discussed nor accepted- the complicated aftermath of abortion in men.

I am not surprised that abortion advocates are very upset over such approach. It took years before the abortion advocates began to acknowledge that women can be affected emotionally and psychologically by the procedure, even though they still claim that women that are affected had some psychological and emotional issues before their abortions. When it comes to men pro-abortion side wants them to be mere “sperm providers”. Once their job is over men it is up to the woman whether to carry the pregnancy. In the US a married man has no right to know if his wife had an abortion, if she choses not to tell him.

So it should not be a surprise that abortion advocates cringe at the fact that we finally are acknowledging that men also suffer pain associated with abortion. The author Curvature Blog (I am not linking to the website because the author uses profane language. Also I was banned from the website for voicing an opposing views) is definitely upset over the LA Times article- I highly recommend reading the article.

The conference in San Francisco focused on testimonies of men who shared the pain associated with their abortions, as well as their unique path of healing. The conference also featured professionals in the field of psychology and post abortion counseling, who share their experience and findings in the studies they have conducted.

The bottom line is that some men do feel the pain of abortion. It is time to acknowledge that pain. Main stream media wants to know the truth. Don’t you?

I was introduced to “Redeeming A Father’s Heart” back in November while attending conference Reclaiming Fatherhood in San Francisco.

My original intention was to read this book on my flight back to New Jersey, however after reading the foreword by Fr. Pavone I knew this book required my full attention and the airplane was not exactly the right place for me to harness that sort of concentration. So I postponed reading “Redeeming A Father’s Heart” until more appropriate time, while the opportunity was right to finally finish G. K. Chesterton’s “The Everlasting Man”.

“Redeeming A Father’s Heart” is a “must have” resource on men’s post abortion grief and healing. To begin with, there are not that many books out there addressing the issue. This particular work of Kevin Burke and his coauthors David Wemhoff and Marvin Stockwell deserves special attention.

We are constantly being fed by a lie that decision to abort should remain between the woman, her doctor and her god. But men participate in that decision, albeit not always in plain leveled field. Some men, escaping restorability, seek or demand abortion. Some are just being “supportive” in her decision. While others witness helplessly as abortion being done against their will or even discover the fact after everything is over. All these men deserve our attention. Especially when they discover the courage to step forward and talk about their ordeal and share their stories of healing.

If you are a man that have participated in abortion, this book will change your life. If you are a priest, a counselor, or maybe just relative or friend of a post abortive man, this book will help you to appreciate the process of grieving nearly every post abortive man goes through on their path to healing. It will also help you to connect the dots and to see how some destructive behaviors maybe connected to men’s past involvement in abortion.

I would highly recommend this book to the leaders of AA groups. As well as to any other group or counseling service that helps others to overcome their addictions. All these addictions may very well be the result of serious spiritual and psychological trauma connected to their abortion experience. Men that shared their stories in the book, speak for millions of men around the world.

Some times I have a desire just to post videos without commenting. Indeed there is no comment needed about the video below, but feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

For decades we have been fed the liberal propaganda machine that when it comes to abortion, men should mind their own business. Since 1973 (Roe vs. Wade) 48+ million abortions have taken place in this country. As I mentioned before, unless all these pregnancies where immaculately conceived, there are 48+ million deep bleeding wounds in the hearts of fathers across America.

Pro life movement has benefited greatly when women who have had abortions began to speak up. In fact that may have very well been the tipping point in the pro-life vs pro-abortion debate – the point from which on the pro-life movement began to win the debate.

For pro life movement to be complete and even more successful, the situation of men who have participated in abortion needs to be addressed. It needs to be acknowledged that men also can suffer from abortion. Post abortive men should be welcomed into pro life movement. We need to listen to their stories.

During the last few decades an incredible amount of work has been done to shad more light on women deal with post abortion trauma. Until recently, on the other hand, there was not that much done in the same respect for men. It may have been because men are less outspoken when it comes to their feelings. Unless the famous fallacy “her body, her choice” had too much of a grip on our society. In either case the time of change has arrived.

As some of you may recall, I have attended Reclaiming Fatherhood at the end of November. I have initially planned to discuss the conference on my blog. But I have better news the official website of the conference menandabortion.info is beginning to put out some information about the conference. My guess is that it is not unlikely, with todays technology, to have the entire conference available in video format on the Internet. Make sure to bookmark their website for the future reference, althoug I am keeping an eye on the website myself and will infrom you as soon as new information will become available. For now I will leave you with this CBS5 news highlights of the conference, Please bear with that commercial in the beginning, it is well worthed.

Yesterday I have participated in a very lively discussion at Jill Stanek’s blog. As the discussion progressed, there was an opportunity to touch on something I have planned to write on my blog in the past. It was in respect to posters so often carried by pro-life protesters. The ones that depict mutilated babies. I really wanted to elaborate more on the subject, however I think my own blog will be more appropriate place to do so.

Right from the start I have to disclose that I am absolutely against such signs being displayed in front of an abortion clinic. These signs can potentially do more harm than good. I think the best way to offer you my point of view would be to address two major arguments why some in pro life movement think these signs should be brought to abortion clinics.

• Seeing these posters a woman may change her mind. Sure, some women may change their mind seeing such poster. The argument can also be made that these posters can reinforce her decision to abort.
• The posters tell the truth. No argument here. But the truth about what? To me these posters depict nothing but evil. Women walking into the clinic need God. Some can argue that these posters portray Christ’s suffering. However there are 2000+ years of tradition of Christian art and we should not dismiss that tradition. If we were to examine Christian art and iconography and how it depicts the suffering of Christ, we can notice one particular trace. All these icons and images, while depicting Christ suffering foreshadow also his glory and resurrection- thus offering hope of forgiveness to us. The posters of mutilated babies depict only death and evil, there is no hope in those images nor do they speak of forgiveness. Not every one is ready to face the truth. Here I am thinking more about women and men who have had previous abortions. They still may be in denial and may not be ready to face the truth. I personally believe that denial can be looked at as God’s gift, and we have no right to rob them of that gift. If God leads these women and men on the path to healing, the denial will eventually come down. But it would be so on God’s terms and not ours.

Even if you look at these posters and pictures of mutilated babies as an educational material, we should be very careful about the setting and timing when showing them. We can not predict with absolute certainty what reaction these pictures can trigger. Some may realize the atrocity of abortion and submit themselves to God’s mercy and forgiveness. While others may look at these pictures as an affirmation that there is no hope for them. Making my argument on Jill’s blog, I received following comment : “I haven’t heard of one person committing suicide over a gruesome picture”. I hope this to be true as well, but if only dead can speak I think all of us can be in for a big surprise.

It is difficult to describe what I felt when I first stumbled across this video. It was about one year ago. Even though I shared this video on my other blogs, I have always wanted to share it here on this blog. But, it did not really fit here before the big change. You might need to visit my blog to see the video, If you are subscribing to blog via e-mail or any feed reader application that does not allow you to watch videos.

Reclaiming Fatherhood, the conference which I have attended in San Francisco, was the first ever conference to address and focus on abortion and its effects on men. In the past, the Pro-Life movement benefited greatly when women who lived through the ordeal of abortion began to step forward and speak up about their pain and how abortion have ruined their lives. Their testimony spoke and continues to speak laud and clear. However in past two or three decades, we were brainwashed that abortion is a “woman only” issue. Approximately 46 million abortions take place each year around the world. Unless these pregnancies are the result of immaculate conceptions, abortion leaves behind 46 million men robed of their fatherhood.

In my upcoming posts and articles I will write in grater detail what I have learned form the San Francisco conference. Today I will limit myself only to acknowledging organizers, speakers and sponsors- because without their hard work and dedication such conference will not be possible.

Organizers and Speakers

Vicki Thorn

Vicki Thorn- the founder of National Office of Post Abortion Healinign and Reconcilliation. Vicki has been working in post abortion counseling since the early 80s. Vicki is also the founder of Project Rachel. Her contribution to understanding better after effects of abortion is enormous. Besides working with post abortive men and women, Vicki also has spoken on countless occasions to young men an women around the country about biochemistry of sexual relationships.

Reclaiming Fatherhood could not have happened without Vicki and the National Office of Post Abortion Healing and Reconciliation.

Dr. Vincent Rue

Dr. Rue is the Director of the Institute for Pregnancy Loss in Jacksonville, Florida, an independent non-profit research & treatment center. Dr. Rue received his Ph.D. in Human Development & Family Studies from the University of North Carolina in 1975. For 30 years Dr. Rue has been a practicing psychotherapist and has served on the faculty of California State University at Los Angeles and United States International University in San Diego.

In 1981 Dr. Rue provided the first clinical evidence of postabortion trauma, identifying this psychological condition as Postabortion Syndrome in testimony before the U.S. Congress. In addition to his clinical work, Dr. Rue also serves as a litigation consultant assisting numerous offices of the state Attorneys General in abortion & family related statutory challenges. He is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Member of the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. He has lectured throughout the United States, and has also presented in North and South America, Europe and Asia. Dr. Rue has authored one book and numerous professional journal articles on the topic of postabortion trauma and has been the principal investigator of the International Pregnancy Loss Research Project.

Catherine T. Coyle, RN, MSN, Ph.D.

Cathy Coyle earned her doctorate in Developmental Psychology at the University of Wisconsin. She is a registered nurse and holds a master’s degree in clinical psychiatric nursing. She has taught at both Edgewood College and the University of Wisconsin in Madison. Dr. Coyle has developed a healing program for men who have been hurt by abortion and has scientifically documented its effectiveness. She is the author of the book, “Men and Abortion: A Path to Healing”, which is based on her research and is available from Life Cycle Books. Dr. Coyle is an associate of the International Forgiveness Institute, co-director of the Alliance for Post-Abortion Research and Training, and continues to pursue research in the areas of both forgiveness and post-abortion trauma. She has published several papers and given numerous presentations concerning these topics.

Tom Golden, LCSW

Tom is the author of “Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing” and has been teaching mental health professionals around the world about men and boys and their unique paths in healing from stress, grief, and trauma. Tom’s book has been acclaimed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and others. Tom enjoys presenting workshops in the United States, Canada, and Australia, having been named the “International Grief Educator” by the Australian Centre for Grief Education. His workshops are known to be entertaining and informative. Tom brings a gentle sense of humor and a gift for storytelling as he draws on his twenty-five years of practical, hands-on clinical experience. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and U.S. News and World Report, as well as on CNN and CBS Evening News. In 1995 Tom created the internet’s first interactive web page for grieving people webhealing.com and designed and started the worlds first internet memorial page, the Place to Honor Grief.

Warren Williams, MBA

Warren has a BA in Psychology and an MBA from the University of Colorado. He is a Charter Member of the American Association of Christian Counselors. He and his wife founded Boulder Caring Pregnancy Center in Boulder. Since 1978 he has been a student of fatherhood loss and the affects abortion has on men and society. In 1992 he founded Fathers & Brothers Ministries International, a ministry to men who have experienced loss of their fatherhood through natural pregnancy and elective choices. He is an Elder at VineLife Community Church in Boulder, CO.

He is a published author: “Fatherhood Lost” Suggested Guidelines in Leading a Bible Study, and the companion Bible Study “Missing Arrows”. He has written and self published many other booklets and articles on men and pregnancy loss including: “Restoring the Fugitive:” “A Father to the Fatherless-Overcoming the Affect of Absentee Fatherhood:” “Men in Sexual Crisis:” “Men in Reproductive Crisis and Recovery;” and a Bible Study for men titled “Missing Arrows.” In addition he and the late Guy Condon co-labored in authoring the Book entitled “Fatherhood Aborted.” Warren has been working on the promotion of these and other materials thorough Care Net, Promise Keepers, and Focus on the Family.
Warren has been a presenter at many national seminars and including Care Net, PACE, Healing Visions, Caring to Love, and Focus on the Family. He has been interviewed many times on radio and TV, co-authored many articles, and is widely quoted on the topic of the disenfranchising of male grief.

Gregory Hasek

Greg Hasek is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Oregon, and a Professor in the Graduate Counseling Program at George Fox University. He is also the Executive Director of a Christian non-profit agency called Misty Mountain Family Counseling Center. They provide individual, premarital and marital counseling out of their office in Portland, Oregon. In addition, they specialize in working with individuals, couples and families who have been affected by sex addiction, pornography and post abortion issues for men and women.

Gregory has presented on topics that include: Post Abortion Healing for Couples: A Family Systems Perspective, Unrecognized Post Abortive Grief in Males and the Link to Sexual Addiction, The Secret Destroyer of Marriage: Unresolved Abortion Related Trauma. In addition to speaking, he has published articles and appeared on television programs and radio discussing these issues around the country. His recent work includes studying the impact abortion and sex addiction has on the divorce rate, especially within the church. Greg has also developed a training program to help pastors and church leaders understand the impact abortion has on men and women, and how to create a healing culture within the church. Gregory is also executive director of Misty Mountain Family Counseling Center.

Reverend Martin Pable

Reverend Martin Pable is member of the Capuchin Order. He has a doctorate in Counseling Psychology, has taught in seminaries and is currently serving in retreat ministry at St. Anthony Retreat Center, Marathon, Wisconsin. He is the author of seven books, including one on male spirituality entitled “The Quest for the Male Soul”.

Andrzej Winkler, MA

Andrzej Winkler, MA is a psychotherapist in private practice in Poland. He had been the director of an outpatient clinic for addicts from 1989 to 2000. He has worked with male groups since 1989. He is the President of the Responsible Parenthood Society. He and his wife Magda are the parents of three adult children. Andrzej is also sharing his counseling experience with his colleagues in Easter Europe including Ukraine.

Roman Catholic Archdiocese of San Francisco along with San Francisco Knights of Columbus facilitated the conference.

I have originally planned to place a picture of each speaker here in this articles. It turned out however, most of my pictures from the conference are out of focus. I will update this article with photos of each speaker as soon as I can find their pictures.

Abortion is a single medical procedure that causes so much controversy. Did you ever stop to wonder why? Just think about it for a moment. Some may argue that it is the safest medical procedure out there. Minus the fetus, they would argue, more people are likely to die during the open heart surgery. Why then no one is demonstrating in front of the cardiology offices? The abortion proponents also claim, not without some wild imagination, that abortion is safer than the childbirth.

Did you ever see an entire open heart surgery on the Discovery Chanel? What about childbirth? I think I am safe to presume that such a program or film will never be featured on the same channel if it was about the abortion. Is it because it is not as safe as pro-abortion activists claim it to be? With 1+ million (compared to only 600,000+ open heart procedures) abortions in the US alone this is the most common medical procedure out there. So why do you think we will never see a TV show that would feature an abortion? Is it because of the very same reason a woman is not allowed to look at the monitor of the ultrasound machine? Personally I do not know. But here is my guess. I think the main reason that we would never see such a program is that it would reveal the truth.

We can present arguments on both side all day long, but at the end of the day only one thing matters. That one thing is the truth. People who have been through the abortion know the truth. I believe God wants them to be healed precisely because they know the truth, so they can free the rest of the world.

Stay tuned and subscribe to my blog if you would like to learn about my trip to San Francisco and Reclaiming Fatherhood conference.

Before my trip to San Francisco, I have warned my readers that this blog is about to take a new direction. In fact I have asked my readers to unsubsribe, realizing that most of you have subscribed to my blog because you are an affiliate marketer. I am glad that some of you have opted to see what will I do with this blog.

The issue of abortion and specifically how it affects the lives of millions men and women around the world was always close to my heart. The opportunity to attend the conference in San Francisco gave me a final “push” to consider and dedicate myself completely to this cause. It is fit here to mention that I did not forget about my promise to report back about the conference, but I wanted to give some time to those who would like to change their subscription to my blog.

While I am not a stranger to the cause, and even have helped Vicki Thorn- dear friend of mine and the founder of National Office of Post Abortion Healing and Reconciliation to organize a trip to Ukraine where she held several conferences on the subject, I believe my experience in Internet marketing and blogging will help the cause from yet another angle.

As many of you know, or can see from the sidebar of this blog, I belong to many different online communities. So I have taken this opportunity and created a Pro-Life Community of Bloggers at BumpZee- my favorite community. if you are writing a blog and address the pro-life subject please consider to join BumpZee. Feel also free to join BumpZee and this new community even if your are not a blogger but interested in subject, I predict that you may actually like the collection of blogs to be featured in Pro-Life community.

Finally you have seen changes on my blog. The old name is gone and now it is simply “Vlad Zablotskyy”, and of course with that gives me a lot more freedom what subjects I will be touching on. However I don’t see myself writing about affiliate marketing anytime soon in the future, my offer is still is and always will be open to you. I am not leaving affiliate marketing, instead of writing about it will try to just simply do it. You can find way better blogs writing about affiliate marketing on BumpZee, among other places.

With this new direction I am taking down any sort of contextual advertising from this website since I have very little control of what is being served by Kontera. In fact I will be taking down other advertisements as well, but I am working on donation option for my readers and visitors if they wish to help me out with costs associated of running this blog.